It is one Goddamn Day?

Celebration of Womanhood! A day to cherish the woman in us!

So many adverts, so much to fake. I already sound like a rebel!

The need for a women’s day is not about celebration really because it is a reminder that we are still a long way from equality. But is the woman really very weak and needs help or is she just subdued over layers of mindsets, traditions and her own self doubts?

Once upon a time my ideas of being a liberal feminist were too cliche’. I believed I was powerful, I was liberated, I was educated and I did not believe in a women’s day. Then Life Happened!

Step by step I walked ahead to understand the hypocrisies of a world we live in. Men there were Men. And why should I play a blame game because so were Women.

So what is the context of Women’s Day?

For the advertising fraternity – it is the urbane woman because she can buy the useless stuff they want to sell in the name of womanhood.

For the feminist or power women organisations it is men – A special day for bashing all that they did not do.

For a subdued woman (in the economically affluent class) – it is a reincarnation of Valentine’s Day where she expects a gift from her husband to feel good and special one day.

For our poor cousins hiding in the shanties carefully hidden by our aristocratic high-rises  Women’s Day – What Women’s Day?

So why all this hue and cry. Honestly it is just another day.

But as a woman when i look around, I wonder has women’s day become our need?

Why do we need one day to tell the quintessential male bastion that we exist? Didn’t we always?

We live in hypocritical times and I believe I am more confused today than I was as a teenager about my womanhood.

I am expected to be the perfect home maker (oh yes – housewife is no more the word for it) followed by doing something to justify my education and then make sure that my attitude and outlook seem absolutely modern while I keep the tradition alive in my house of being the stereotypical LADY OF THE HOUSE!

I sometimes wonder if my poor sister from another mother is lucky. At least she has her life sorted out. She will physically work hard during the day as a labourer, a maid, a wife while her good for nothing man wastes away and in the evening more often than not she will be beaten by the drunk spouse to reiterate his power in the world.

She takes it in all acceptance thinking it is the only way of life because sometime in some house with ornamental padded locks she has seen that her educated equal sheds tears in secret. She at least has the liberty to cry out loud and curse her husband in full public view. And once in a while she gives him back a slap or two to keep him quite for a few days.

But no she is not because her husband will never update his Facebook status for the her praising all that she is doing for him. For her the Day of the Women never existed and will never do.

Yes we live in hypocritical times because somewhere a young lad in an engineering college eyes his female counterpart as an entity who was planted to waste away one more engineering seat because she may not continue to work once she becomes a wife or mother. This typical boy (trained to believe his superiority) doesn’t even once wonder that there is a lady back in his home who raised him and taught him the basics of life and education because of which he was standing inside a not so affordable college.

And the saddest part of the situation is where women are the perpetrators and the victims. No we are not getting into the Saas – Bahu saga (Mom-in-law & Daughter-in-Law dynamics). When I as a woman believe that another woman is a lesser being because she is a HOUSEWIFE. When I as a woman believe that the one stepping out of the house to earn is actually having fun. When I as a woman believe that the maid who works in six different houses is not entitled for a day’s leave. When I as a woman believe that my Mother and my Mother-In-Law know less than me only because they are not comfortable with technology. When I as a woman believe that my son is superior to his wife. When I as a woman believe that I am lesser than my mate. When I as a woman wait for my man to stand up for me rather than pulling myself up. When I as a woman be the victim and the perpetrator. How can I celebrate Women’s Day?

It is also funny to expect one day a year to change the patriarchal male society into a sorted out one with the correct principles on women’s liberation and right to equality. We are fools if we expect this. Believe me the man is more than happy to celebrate this one day because it remains just ONE DAY in a whole damn year and he can wash his hands off the rest of the year. And Women’s Day will remain just another marketing gimmick.

As a woman first it is necessary to believe that I AM and I CAN before asking others to believe in me. Respect should be about self and not about how I do things for family, friends etc. A woman has to believe that her being a home-maker is not derogatory and should step up to anyone who feels or says so. A woman has to believe that keeping a career is not going to destroy her family. It is about a woman looking at what she does with respect first. Men will soon fall in line.

A joke is doing rounds on social media. The story of the Frog Prince with a twist:

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured Princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the Princess’ lap and said:
“Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”
That night, as the Princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:
I don’t fucking think so!

For me, I will rather be the witch who can turn the prince into a frog. Till the Happy Women’s Day!


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